Trauma

Trauma is common to our children whether it happened before or after the onset of their mental health challenges. In fact, thanks to the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study conducted by the CDC and Kaiser in the mid 1990s, we know that trauma is common across our population and that it increases incidences of disease and early death.

Aaron and I lived in a violent household and in poverty when he was very young. His voices were not initially violent or frightening (that would come around age 9), but he did experience difficulty in school from early childhood on. He had learning disabilities without accommodations to enable him to experience school success. It is stressful to get up day after day with failure looming before you. To make matters worse I was an old school disciplinarian which was not helpful at best. We were taught behavioral methods and those are not particularly effective with children experiencing symptoms of mental illness. It was frustrating and exhausting for our whole family.

When Aaron was 12 years old, several crises collided. His school hit a wall and suggested that I just take him home stating, “If you won’t tell we won’t.” He snuck out and got drunk which landed him in the juvenile courts. We put him in the psychiatric hospital for the first time and in two weeks he had almost exhausted his lifetime maximum for his insurance coverage for mental health services. We were told to relinquish custody of him to the state of Texas to access care, but just could not bring ourselves to do so. A psychiatrist suggested Straight Inc, so feeling we had no other choices we gave them our precious boy, sold everything we owned and moved up to DFW to be near him (in theory he was to move home). Aaron was horribly abused at Straight. Nearly a year later he was released with trauma on top of severe mental illness. Unfortunately, we did not recognize or understand the symptoms of trauma and without recognition of what were trauma responses, we did not know how to help him. By age 14 he had found others who shared his experiences and felt more at home with people like him, and by age 15 he was living on the streets.

Intervention Resources

Basic Sequence - First REGULATE, then build RELATIONSHIP - both must be in place BEFORE you can REASON.

Trust based Relational Intervention (TBRI):

• 3 Sets of Principles

  • Empowering Principles - physiological and ecological strategies to build regulation https://jennaflemingcounseling.com/blog-post/tbri-empowering-principles/

  • Connecting Principles - mindfulness and engagement strategies to build relationship

    https://jennaflemingcounseling.com/blog-post/tbri-connecting-principles/

  • Correcting Principles - Proactive and responsive strategies to teach children to be self managers

    https://jennaflemingcounseling.com/blog-post/tbri_correcting_principles/ (scroll to bottom for a great video of Karen Purvis teaching/demonstrating strategies)

    • IDEAL (Responsive strategies) = Immediate, Direct, Efficient, Action-based, leveled at the behavior (can watch Karen in video)

      Immediate, address behavior within 3 seconds if possible

      Direct, come close, use engagement strategies, tune in

      Efficient, use the lowest level of response that is effective

      • // Levels of response

        •Playful engagement – are you asking or telling

        •Structured engagement - give choices, may compromise

        •Calming engagement -

        •Protective engagement  -

        Action-based, give the opportunity to redo & correct their mistake

        Leveled at the behavior not the child

  Neurosequential Framework was developed by Bruce Perry - You can read his book below and/or he has training that can be accessed at https://www.neurosequential.com/nmt

  Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are two additional specific therapies requiring advanced training.

Trauma Sensitive Schools Training Resources The American Institutes of Research National Center on Safe Supportive Learning Environments released its suite of training materials in 2018. It is a great resource for schools and others to understand the role of trauma in children’s responses. The first critical step in appropriately supporting youth with a history of trauma is recognizing their behaviors from a trauma lens. Once you understand where the behavior comes from, you can begin to build effective strategies to support children and youth with a history of trauma. These materials are free and include activities to support a basic trauma 101 course across many environments.

Spring 2026 I am having difficulty with the actual TSS training package link … if it doesn’t get resolved, I will upload my powerpoints developed from those resources. Here is a link to AIR that I am able to open with the TSS link https://mtss4success.org/special-topics/trauma-informed-care

Annotated Reading list

What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing written in 2021 by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey is a conversation that presents complex information on how trauma impacts us. Perry uses their conversation to teach basic constructs in his Neurosequential model and apply those constructs to experiences that make them more easily understood.

Help At Any Cost By Maia Szalavitz exposes Straight Inc and other abusive tough love treatments. The original book was written in 2006, but this link will take you to the 2020 edition which has been updated. If I could change one thing that we did with Aaron, it would have been to have not brought him there. He was tortured and I lay much of the rest of the pain he suffered throughout his life at their feet. I do not know how they sleep at night?

Cyndy Etler’s books Dead Inside, and We Can’t Be Friends are memoirs of her life during and after Straight Inc. She is a great writer and her’s are compelling books.

The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog By Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz relates lessons learned in supporting youth who have experienced trauma through a series of specific experiences with children. Perry states first we and children/youth must be well regulated enough to enable connection, and connection must precede any corrections. He sums it up as Regulate - Relate - THEN Reason.

The Body Keeps The Score By Bessel Van Der Kolk speaks to the processes that occur during trauma … and in healing. I am reading this now! Here is a youtube video if you would like a preview of the author speaking about trauma and taking a physical approach to trauma (and another on EDMR).

Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness By David Treleaven does a great job of laying out potential triggers within therapy processes, specifically mindfulness and meditation practices. I shared his presentation at https://www.contemplativemind.org/archives/5082 with my occupational therapy students because he does an excellent job laying out signs that someone is struggling with trauma responses, and gives concrete accommodations to support them.

Donations to Ending the Troubled Teen Industry

Aaron was abused at STRAIGHT INC when we mistakenly sought treatment there. Ending the Troubled Teen Industry is a group of survivors seeking to end programs like STRAIGHT INC who abuse children placed in their care. They may be reached at:

• info@endthetti.org

• Instagram or Twitter; @endthetti

• Facebook; http://facebook.com/endthetti

Click the link below to donate to support the work of Ending the Troubled Teen Industry